We want to start off by saying that we like animals. Dogs make great pets for kids. Cats are cute when they knead on blankets. Hamsters are laughable creatures that turn tiny wheels for exercise. Anything with a furry body is precious, adorable, and likable. Nature is a wonderful thing.
Have you ever had an encounter with geese on a golf course? They can’t kill you like an alligator lurking in the water but boy, are they obnoxious. Geese are pests, not majestic creatures that deserve protection. Quite the contrary. They are ugly, ornery, loud, and just plain mean.
Terrors of the Golf Course
Geese are evil creatures. They are terrors on the golf course and they can make your game absolutely miserable. If you encounter a flock of geese or even just one, you’ll learn how annoying these creatures can be.
GEESE ARE AGGRESSIVE.
These birds will go aggro on you. You might see them waddling near a water hazard and think, aw, how cute. But as soon as you approach them they won’t seem so innocent. Geese will get in your way or even run at you. They’ve been known to block golfers from taking a shot.
GEESE WILL HISS AT YOU.
Have you heard the terrible noise geese make if you get near them? The sound is the stuff of nightmares. Geese instill fear by hissing at you. It’s their way of saying, Back off, this is my territory! It will send chills up your spine. Only a snake should hiss – not a goose.
GEESE HAVE SHARP TEETH.
When geese hiss, you’ll discover what terrible little teeth they have. And they’ll nip at you if you get too close. A lot of well-meaning people feed geese bread but this creates more problems than anything else. Not only does it make them fat and intolerable to look at, it increases the likelihood of a goose bite. They will draw blood. Watch out.
GEESE POOP EVERYWHERE.
There’s nothing more revolting than goose poop. A flock of geese will turn a putting green into a minefield. Goose droppings rarely get cleaned up at a golf course. And it’s not just any kind of bird feces. It’s the most foul-smelling, putrid smell you’ll ever inhale. Just one whiff will send your stomach into a lurch.
GEESE ARE UNSTOPPABLE.
Golf clubs use various tools to try and get rid of geese: repellent, scarecrows, and dogs. Grounds attendants spend many man-hours trying to chase geese off their property only to have them fly right into their ponds. When golf clubs are unsuccessful at getting rid of their goose population, they turn to The Final Solution – extermination.
It’s not right. It’s not fair. It’s not great. We’re just saying – the world might be a better place with less geese.