The Shell Houston Open

In a stunning turn of events, the Titleist Vokey wedge, not normally known for moments of glory, won the Shell Houston Open on Sunday. The wedge was as shocked as anybody.

“Well, we’re a team, of course,” an emotional wedge said in the clubhouse. “And normally all the press goes to the Titleist 913D2. Or at the very least, the Scotty Cameron for Titleist GoLo. So it’s nice to have the spotlight for a change.”

The Titleist 913D2 was happy for his bag-mate, but had his own perspective on the tournament. “I did all the heavy lifting, as usual,” the driver said. “I ate up the yards, I set up the lies. But it’s good to know we can count on Vokey when the time comes.”

The GoLo, on the other hand, was somewhat less gracious. “Really? A 42-yard pitch? We may not be a baseball team, but I’m clearly the closer. Vokey got lucky. Won’t happen again.”

The unified Titleist team edged out the second-place winner, led by the Bridgestone J40 430 driver. “I guess there’s something to be said for teamwork,” the frustrated driver told reporters. “I’m working with Ping, Aldila, Cleveland … we’ve got a regular melting pot in our bag. But they’re good guys, so no excuses. We got outplayed.”

The third-place winner, led by the TaylorMade SLDR 460, refused comment. The Titleist winners move on to the Masters.