Republicans, Democrats, Independents & Other Competent Thinking Members of the Public,
After the really, really, very, very, YUGE reaction we’ve seen from our what’s in the bag posts, we decided to reveal Donald Trump’s equipment preferences. Now, for the very first time, you get to know what golf clubs the presidential nominee is sporting in his golf bag.
Disclaimer: Trump has more clubs than the average golfer, just like his multiple cars, buildings, and wives. We’ve selected what we believe to be some his favorites.
Headcover: Star Trek Tribble Headcover
It’s said that whenever a woman cries somewhere in America, Donald Trump grows a strand of hair. The volume of his blonde hair is a testament to American women weeping everywhere.
And since Trump is totally enamored with his image, we’re sure he would have this Tribble headcover as a reminder of his beautiful golden locks.
Driver: Titleist 910D2 Driver
Word on the street is that The Donald plays with Titleist drivers. Owning a Titleist driver is entitlement at its finest. Billionaires choose this brand based on its reputation and not necessarily on its performance.
In any case, the Titleist 915D2 is the kind of driver meant for rich men with exceptional stamina. Trump may be alienating some voters with his rhetoric, but his drives will leave even the most loyal Democrats astounded.
It takes finesse to swing this baby the right way. And Trump has what it takes to utilize all of the technology packed into the club head. Not that this big league guy needs the high MOI or extra forgiveness.
Fairway Wood: TaylorMade M2 3-Wood
Rumor has it that Trump plays with TM products, too, and just doesn’t stick with Titleist. We have a feeling he’d choose an M2 because he likes to brag about his tremendous shots off the fairway.
TaylorMade’s advertising has the mindset and approach of the brash businessman. Their marketing campaigns make outrageous claims and often involve catchphrases. We can hear Donald saying how he’s the “#1 Player in Golf.”
Like Donald, the M2 is exceptional, aggressive, and a world-class celebrity performer. There is a ton of hype behind this fairway wood, just like Donald’s political campaign. Anyone who disagrees with this club choice is a hater and a loser.
Irons: TaylorMade R7 CGB MAX Irons
Geared toward high handicappers, the TaylorMade R7 CGB’s deliver forgiveness to an unforgiving narcissistic leader. Trump played these irons on his show The Apprentice 2 with Mark King, the CEO of TaylorMade.
The good thing about TaylorMade is if you break an iron, you can go to the local Wal-Mart to replace it. To stand out from the masses, Trump had every iron gold-plated with his logo stamped inside the cavity.
Once you see how shiny that gold is, you’re bound to get watery-eyed. It’s hard for tough guys like Trump to get emotional over pieces of metal on a stick. But it has been known to happen.
Wedges: Custom Titleist Spin Milled Vokey Wedges
Trump had to have the most unbelievable wedges in his bag, so he went straight to Titleist to boost his ego. He’s somewhat of an equipment snob – exactly the type of guy top marketing executives at OEMs love.
No one really knows the methodology behind Trump’s choices, but what we do know is that he likes his clubs custom-made. Because they are flashy, Trump goes with a Tour Chrome finish.
Custom Spin Milled Vokey wedges are the top-of-the-line choice for golfers who want to play products featured on the PGA Tour. Trump wouldn’t play with anything less at one of his country clubs.
Putter: Ping CRAZ-E Junior Putter
Since Trump has such a tiny hands, the best golf club for the green is the Ping CRAZ-E Junior putter. The Republican presidential nominee has been accused of having small hands for a man of his height. At 7.25 inches long, his hands are 85% smaller than the average American man.
Marco Rubio attacked Trump’s hand size in one of his rallies. Trump’s response was to hold his hands up and exclaim, “Those hands can hit a golf ball 285 yards.”
You can download a life-sized image of Trump’s hands, which was created based on a bronzed handprint hanging in the New York branch of Madame Tussauds Wax Museum. Here is the full-size, printable version.